How a Cat Gave Me One of its #9Lives

#Tshegofatso Pushed Me Over the Edge
June 12, 2020
The Prioritisation of Murders
June 26, 2020

How a Cat Gave Me One of its #9Lives

Firstly, accept my apologies for my tardiness in sending this Friday release.  We’ve had a 48hr power outage and generators only last so long!  On top of that, it is freezing even here in KZN it’s 15 degrees, the place that never gets winter.  It’s pouring and has been for days, I’m writing this wrapped up in a blanket and wondering how I am going to pour this week into a blog without electricity.

I’m so sick of the media, I’m so sick of the deaths, I’m so sick of #Lockdown, I’m so sick of opening my social media pages to ignorance and a world that is on the brink of a #revolution and then I got a cat, well a kitten to be accurate!

If you know me, you will know I hate cats, I really hate cats, I say I am allergic and I am, but truly I just don’t like them so it’s an ideal excuse.  I’m a dog person, I like to have unconditional love. I don’t even understand cats, what’s their deal? All aloof and crap like they don’t need any damn body.  Nah, I’m not a fan.

So picture the scene, it’s bucketing down with rain, Nellie needs to get to work so at 7am I reluctantly get in my car to pick her up.  To be honest  I toyed with the idea of giving her the day off because my bed was warm but I know both her and my Mom would give me a hard time, besides this weather is here all week so we might as well suck it up.

In my PJs (with a jacket so people would think that I have tracksuit bottoms on, to be fair I don’t care), I jump into my car, with my dogs in tow because I can’t get into the car without one of the pair tackling my accelerator before I even open the door.  I wear contact lenses and my glasses that I use for early morning jaunts like this are far too weak, so I squint through the rain and swerved for what I thought was a dead cat on the road.  As I swerved, the kitten lifted her head and the thought ran through my head, “ oh dear you just got yourself a cat!”!  URGH, I turned the car around (now parked across both lanes, don’t worry only cows are out at that time of the morning) got out in the pouring rain to assess how good a human I am.  I looked for blood, good no blood, I can deal with this, so I took off my jacket off , wrapped her up and put her on my lap.  That’s how I got a cat, well a kitten.  The best bloody thing to happen to me in #Lockdown.

I brought her back home, dried her and mixed dog food with water and milk (I know now – don’t give cats milk) she gulped it down, this kitten was a fighter.  Her back right leg wasn’t working so I was still not sure if she was going to make it through the next day or so.  My whole world stopped.  It’s not that I didn’t care about the world I just cared about my kitten.  Her name is Kairo, Kai for short, I’m sure she is feral and somehow got detached from her mom but she’s the prettiest and most loving creature that demands a shed load of attention and when you give it to her she PURRS! How awesome?  I’m sick of giving my attention to all the negativity and watching helplessly as people are crushed and left on the road to die.

Now when I look at the news it’s in a state of CATatonia.  #Ramaphosa’s back and he’s surprised and disgusted at the #Femicide our nation has been experiencing for decades, he says alcohol is to blame, I say #MenAreToBlame.  Why do you have to bring prohibition to make humans stop stabbing and hanging our pregnant women?  Does alcohol do that?  I’m a non-drinker and not a fan of booze, it has destroyed so many lives as a CATALYST to the person underneath, the beer bottle didn’t set her alight in her bed after raping her #MrPresident! Stop underplaying a catastrophe.

The good news is that #Bathoi did it.  #VBSArrests, hold your breath we are waiting for the bigger names after a senior police officer and PIC representatives were arrested, is there a #Shivambu in the house? Maybe when hell freezes over, well that’s what happened this week, it is devastating to see the cold now cripple an already embattled community.  I have a friend (yes I do have one) who bought a homeless man a one man tent, sleeping bag, dry mat and all the trimmings needed to just keep out of this weather.  My friend changed another friend’s life for a long time, what if we all just picked up one cat and helped it help itself?  Even if you’re not a cat person? Even if you consider it #Ferile or none of your business because the cat’s not in your back yard.  Even if it’s got a back leg that doesn’t work?

I mean just look around you, the taxi fares have rocketed, food costs are up by 30%, Edcon heads for 22k retrenchments, no payment yet for Denel, the poor are starving and freezing, just help one person.  Just one.  It doesn’t have to be much –  a blanket is sufficient. You don’t have to stop the car and pick up the cat and give it a home.   Just help one person this week.

And then the headlines hit, “We Got Him”, #TshegoPule’s alleged killer, #Muzikayise #Malephane, has been caught, and this was before the #President’s address, why didn’t #Ramaphosa say that we will take this bastard (now’s the time to use that word #Julius) and we will string him up or worse.  We will let you watch the court case like we did with Oscar, you will see justice being served.  #Naledi’s killer had some integrity in not even applying for bail, is that because it’s probably easier to get food and a bed in jail?  Am I being a complete catty?  Nah, he hacked her up with an axe and left three children without a mum.  But nevermind hey, afterall #BoyswillbeBoys and then give them a bottle of booze. Did I tell you my cat purrs when you scratch her under the chin?  #Lifesaving

Dlamini Zuma says only 11.8% of us are still able to buy fags, I’m going to bet that we wouldn’t tell you when and where we bought them Ma’am if you want the real number – audit #Mazotti’s turnover because undoubtedly there is a cat in that bag.  Why is smoking still a thing, so you can’t have a ciggie by choice but klap your girlfriend it’s ok, that is another set of rules, we don’t stop the world for that. In fact, some of us don’t even bother to turn up to court for murdering #Trisha #PitchBlackAfro didn’t think it was necessary, it’s not mandatory or anything, she’s only a woman.  #WheresMyKitten?

SAA 10bn bail out and SA Express next on the list, talk about #NineLives.

Here’s the biggest brand fail of the #Lockdown, #Allwinesmatter courtesy of #LaBoucherWines, what a cataclysmic tone-deaf-brand-death-knell.  Don’t worry though they took the post down because (wait for it) it was “incorrectly perceived”.  Ah forget it, if it doesn’t offend you, you don’t deserve a cat, let alone a kitten.

We learnt new words this week #Advanced and #Enhanced #Level3, when did we have sub-levels to our levels to our stages to our sub-stages? Basically #DaliMpofu summed it up: you may go to a restaurant after you’ve had your hair done but keep your mask on, so don’t expect to eat.  Purrfect

Boris Johnson’s racism is just cataclysmic and he has bad hair,  good news though it seems we have found the cure for CoVid19 – is it cortisone or am I reading this wrong? Fur-real?  Can we go see our families now?

I called my Kitten, Kairo, because even with her three legs she belongs in #MoneyHeist and I think she’d catslap as hard as #Nairobi.  You can call her Kai and she gave me one of her #9Lives.