#WhatLockdown South Africa? #WhatIsHappening?

How I became a hypocrite and a criminal overnight #Level4Restrictions
April 30, 2020
#CovidElections #Level3 and other #ThingsIDontUnderstand
May 15, 2020

#WhatLockdown South Africa? #WhatIsHappening?

Last week I told you that the #Lockdown had turned me into a hypocrite and a criminal because of the #SmokingBan, this week I feel I’m on the brink of becoming an #Anarchist.  It has been the weirdest week of my media analysing career.  I have only one question, #WhatIsHAPPENING?  I would add an expletive but there are #childrenIntheCar.  (Well there used to be!)

Imagine you hadn’t watched the news and I opened with this line:  “This week we saw #NASA admit the existence of #UFOs, we had a #PornSession in parliament and unusually large #Hornets are plaguing the US”  You would have thought I was watching too much #DavidIcke but there you go, that actually happened this week.  None of that surprised me, the fact that we did not even blink or make a fuss about any of these stories is indicative of our ridiculous mental state.  #whatishappening?

Let’s try to bring you back to ground level.  The stories that matter told us this SA is on the brink of a catastrophe and it is not #Covid19, in fact it’s so bad one could ask #WhatLockdown?  Images have flooded social media of humans gathered in their thousands for food or for money to buy food.

#SassaGrants and half a million people changing provinces will result in more infection rates at the cost of the poor and the essential workers.  The queues for #FoodParcels would be better placed in a documentary focusing on mass starvation and genocide as our nation has lost all human dignity in a clamber to put food on the table. #WhatLockdown?  The #SASSADebacle was horrific with some being paid double and others not at all.  Those that did have jobs are losing them hand over fist as the banks handle 2500 retrenchments per day!  People who are “fortunate” enough to get the banking industry to help have either had massive interest added to existing loans or are being granted loans that must be paid back.  A country that was not eating properly is being bankrupted by #lockdownSA. #WhatIsHappening?

Being part of the humanitarian effort with #FeedRuralKZN it has become very apparent that the relief organisations and the human spirit of #Ubuntu are the ONLY efforts feeding those that need assistance. I read disgusting stats this week.  Tshwane is handing out 400 food parcels per day, and #Makhura encouraged food donors to send their parcels via government so that they can “better distribute”. #WhatIsHappening?  KZN premier came out with a presentation deck that unashamedly quoted that 200 food parcels were donated by organisations with food relief.  I couldn’t believe what I was reading, I had to question it, so I did and yes, that’s right, the whole of KZN got 200 food parcels vetted by government from outside donations.  This is the part where I turned to anarchy, (you thought it was tobacco!) #LockdownSA  is not working.  Not by a long shot. Let me put it into perspective, take 200 people from your social media platform and see how many you are left with that did not get food, that’s how real this is. It is no wonder that South Africans broke out this week and the malls and the streets filled up with people are looking for work and food, that’s what happens when you deliver 400 food parcels a day or give 200 parcels to KZN.  Of course, that’s what happens, that is #whatishappening, we have lost all personal dignity let alone respect for a “pandemic” that has a 99%+ recovery rate.

Worse still than any virus is politics! We saw a President that was a superhero a couple of weeks back being heralded as one of the best leaders in the world. This week he became #PresidentMantash, and I’m still not talking about #Cigarettes.  Yes #CigarettesMustFall opened a can of #InsertExpletive on the country, but it also opened a can of maggots and back peddling by our government on presidential promises.  The declaration of grant money was given a #financialShuffle as those that have children are only given an additional few hundred rand where many were expecting a few thousand.  The once off R350 grant has so many t&cs you might as well give up and the relief from government for businesses doesn’t appear to have filtered down.  Ok let’s go to the #Cigarettes, most of you have calmed down due to #Sharp but the President dismissed half a million people’s petitions as simply #Broohaha. R36m legitimate cash turns into R72m for the black market per day in that #Broohaha. #Whatishappening?

Just as I was at my tipping point, we went back to normal.  My #PreCovidSA was back, it feels like we are on the brink of #Elections doesn’t it? #HermanMashaba issued a letter to the President that asked for Utopia, #Yawn the old political #lipaction.  The #eff will give you masks if you are a voter, but if not you’ll have to part with 20 bucks, the #DA are on their moral high horse in the epicentre of the pandemic with Khayelitsha in absolute chaos while their #fingerpointing narrative drones on.  The #ANC, I have no words, when #PravinGordhan says he’s going to open a new #NationalAirline as he juggles with the hot potato of #SAA we have to ask #whatishappening. None of that told me we were back to #PreCovidSA until we had #ZoomingWithZuma.

Our good friend #JacobZuma remember him?  Yes uBaba is actually going to court next month and of course we are to believe he is potless and  you’d be thrilled to know that everything is back to normal in SA.  Racism, hatred and political wars are back on our timelines, ah it feels so good to be home!  Word on the street is that is you are not a #NDZ fan you are a racist and that #EdwardZuma is going to be running in the presidential race soon.  So not only am I a hypocrite, a criminal and borderline anarchist, I am also a racist, who knew?

#TitoMboweni is not far behind me, is he?  As SAB are about to pour 100m litres of beer down the drain and their retrenchment lists rises, #Mboweni has made it clear he is not a #LockdownFan he’s all about the #Madibaz though, a bit like all of SA at the moment.

Remember that #BillionaireChallenge well it appears that #Rupert is the only one who actually dropped the cash (well the venture capital) to date is that true?  Please tell me that’s not true?

#EncaMustFall is not a new hashtag but two anchors were told to apologise for saying that #NDZ emasculated #Cyril and the hashtag exploded, next thing #AnchorApology and shortly after that #AnchorsSuspended. How can two people #XoliMngabe and #JaneDutton take the fall for a whole production team where the anchors have an auto queue?   For those who don’t know the back rooms of TV, people don’t just get up and say stuff.  Many people contribute to the narrative that is fed as mainstream news, many vetting processes are in place in journalism and yet only two people are lambasted, where’s #HlaudiMotsoeneng these days?  #whatishappening?

Over the waters, #Madagascar has been trending in SA as the country calls on SA to bring the herbal drink to SA soil – guys we have the same herbs here.  #Whatshappening?

Oh, and for those who want to know how to prounce #ElonMusks kid’s new name, it’s Kyle.  Just Kyle.   Why do I even know this, #WhatTheFIsHappening